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Send more life please

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I am having one of those times--they usually last a week or two--when I am not really sure who I am. Am I a writer? A teacher? A mom? A counselor? A grandma? A caregiver? I'm making gradual changes in my life, and this week they are not changing smoothly.

This week I am no longer a teacher, just a grader. I have taught five classes all semester long, and this is the week the s**t hits the fan. Everyone wants an A this week, but no one wanted to work hard and get extra help on papers 1-4 during the semester. No one wanted to arrange a spectacular portfolio two weeks ago week, but today they want an A. Some will settle for a B, and some will grimace at their C. If you didn't come to class--too bad.

Then I become a counselor. "But Mrs. B, I tried so hard ..." says the person who is having their view of my office. "But I was sick so much of the semester ..." Well, I cannot do much for you at the end of the semester. My counselor shingle is now DOWN.

A writer? Well, here I am. Blogging again with the same old complaints. Great creative writing, right? Really bad. I'd put a frown emoticon here if I knew how to do it!!!! But I will settle for multiple exclamation points.

A Mom? Yes, I am a Mom, but not enough of a one. I need more time for Rachel, and for Lily, who lights up my life. A grandchild is really a gift, and Lily is an exceptional gift to me. Once I get past this week, I'll have more time to spend with her. She is learning at a lightning pace right now, and I want to be there to watch.

There's not enough of me for the community, the school, the students, my family. Now I know why writers struggle to live. There's never enough of their life to go around.

Mrs. B

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