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Remembering Dot 1940-2010

My first and only child was ten days late. On each of those days, my sister-in-law Dot called me, not necessarily to find out how I was. She wanted to know if there was a new baby for her, and the rest of the family, to celebrate.

And when we took Rachel to visit her Aunt Dot, she always made it a point to check out a diaper change. She complimented me often on the fact that Rachel never had diaper rash. She let me know that I passed her test: my baby was clean, well-fed, and happy. I was a good mother; so was she.

Like my husband, Dot was the a much-loved child of Roy and Florence Brandon. The original family included eight brothers and four sisters: Vernie (Buzz), Verna, Jim, Sam, Charlie, Ken, Geraldine, Don, Dorothy (Dot), Bonnie, Herbie, and Thomas. By the time I joined the family in 1974, Charlie and Thomas were gone, and they were followed by Buzz in 1991, then Sam, Geraldine in 1996, Herbie in 2002, Ken in 2007, Jim in 2008, Verna in 2009, and Dot in February, 2010. Don and Bonnie are the remaining siblings, but over the years the brothers and sisters produced 50 children, creating a large and close-knit extended family.

Dot enjoyed being a wife, mother, and homemaker. She married U.S. Army private Sam Hawley in 1959 and traveled across the U.S. and to Germany with him, their four children in tow. She made friends everywhere they were stationed, but she was happiest when they retired after 23 years and went home to Erie and to her brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, and cousins.

Once she was back in Erie, and still relatively young, the family connections she lost over years grew back stronger than ever. She was back in time for the birth of her last niece, my daughter, in 1979, and she was here to revel in the birth of more than 70 great-nieces and great-nephews over the next 30 years. Aunt Dot was there to rock my baby, and six more babies that year, and she gloried in the birth of her grandchildren: Matthew, Renee, Amie, David, Jayson, Amber. She got several grandchildren by marriage, and now has a few great-great grandchildren, too. Her life unfolded infant by infant, with bottles, diapers, rocking chairs, and most important, love.

When she decided to find a job, there was no problem: the local day care was delighted to have an experienced and loving grandmother on staff. She ruled the baby room with love and disinfectant for nearly 20 years, and some of those babies--and their parents--still call her "Grandma Dot."

Like all of her sisters, Dot's ability to keep a spotless home was legendary. My guess is that the apple didn't fall far from the tree, and that all the Brandon girls learned their housekeeping from their mother. Mopping floors, washing walls, daily vacuuming, meals large enough to feed an army - Dot did it all. My husband loved to visit Dot and Sam on Sunday in the winter, when there was sure to be a pot of oyster stew on the stove, or a pot of pork and sauerkraut. Homemade sauerkraut, made by Dot.

I miss all of my brothers- and sisters-in-law who have gone to their rest, but Dot's passing was more sudden than we all expected. At 69, four months after learning she had stomach cancer, she was gone. That's not that much older than me. More than that, the family is down to only two: Don and Bonnie. The only in-laws left are Bonnie's husband, Richard; Dot's husband, Sam; Ken's wife, Lorraine; and me.

How many of us can say we were one of a dozen children? Very few. Being young and part of a huge family lifts you up, but as you watch your siblings fade away, it becomes more difficult to deal with the loss. Even moving away from Erie didn't save me from the inevitable tears and sadness.

So I will hold on to Dot for a while, remembering her smile, her matter-of-fact voice, and her kindness to me, an only child drowning in a sea of family. She left enough love in this world that we can all have a share.

Mrs. B

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